a little bit of late election coverage from the Onion.

Posted on November 25, 2008

wish I’d found this before the election so I could have posted it then.  still, better late then never…

Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote
from The Onion, Oct. 30, 2008

WASHINGTON—As election day nears, millions of the nation’s poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

“On the one hand, I’m pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations,” said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker. “Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they’ll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it’s pretty much a toss-up at this point.”

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year’s election is reportedly unique in that the nation’s poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstances—such as economic collapse and terrorism—that might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.

And that pretty much sums it up as far as I’m concerned.

Grats to ya boy.

Posted on November 5, 2008

Last night around 8pm I was at a house party here in Oakland getting ready for my band’s set when somebody across the room shouted out “Obama won!  he did it!” and the whole room broke out in cheers and clapping.   I pulled out my cellphone and sent a text message to my friend Labrie (who’s been pulling hard for an Obama victory and recorded a couple songs supporting him and his candidacy) saying “Grats to ya boy” and went back to working on getting our sound set up.  Later that night as we closed our set with ‘None of the Above’ several of the Obama supporters, including my bandmates wife, waged a bit of a counter-insurgency, shouting out “Obama!” every time the chorus of “Which one?  None of the Above!” came up.

Such is the fate of an Anarchist among Liberals.

Seriously though, I know this is a big day for a lot of folks who’ve put time and energy into getting dude elected, and in particular – as even McCain acknowledged – it’s a big day for black folks in America.  For over 200 years black folks have watched white Presidents completely ignore their issues and support policies that hurt them.  Now, thanks to Obamas historic win, poor and working class black folks get to have their issues and their needs ignored by a person with the same color skin as them.  That’s an honor that poor and working class white folks have enjoyed in isolation for far too long.  It’s only fair to spread the joy around a bit. Read more

The election tomorrow and California Ballot Initiatives

Posted on November 3, 2008

first thing is the presidential race, which is (finally!) about to be over. after a year and a half of watching this stupid puppetshow drown out all the real news I’m well past ready for it to be over.

fuck john “bomb iran” mccain and barack “invade pakistan” oboma. how is that even supposed to represent a choice? we’ve got 2 war mongering capitalist douchebags with slightly different strategies for fucking us all over, and yet people get all excited about it as though our votes actually counted or something! I’ll never understand it.

So here’s my official election endorsement, for everyone who hasn’t already seen it:

As for the rest of the ballot, in California at least we have a little bit of direct democracy, and that to me is worth voting on. As an anarchist I’d like to see direct democracy used for just about everything, so while the ballot initiative system isn’t perfect, it’s at least a step in the right direction. Here’s my list: Read more